Well, they stole my Jeep. My 1996 Forrest Green Jeep Cherokee. They did it. You know, them. Those Guys.

And, it turns out, auto theft is pretty much a free crime – if you are the criminal. You can jack a car, ride it around till it runs out of gas, ditch it on the side of the road and you are free and clear. No consequences. Thank you sir, you are fee to go… and steal another one tomorrow night!

That’s if you are the criminal. If you are the law-abiding, tax-paying citizen who gets his car stolen despite the fact that you were doing everything correctly – locked it, clubbed it, etc, then auto theft is an expensive crime indeed.

When the cops find it (and it seems they always do… not hard when it is left on the side of the road with no gas) they take it to the impound lot and you have to pay to get it out. You have to pay quite a bit to get it out. You have to pay $115.

And then, of course, there is enough damage that it would cost more to fix it than it is worth.

But this is where you get a break. This is where things get easier. The scrap yard is about a mile away from the impound lot. Isn’t that great?

Someone was thinking.

And guess how much the scrap yard gives you for your car. It would be poetically beautiful if they gave you $115. But guess what. The give you $150!!! So really, thats a good profit!

Anyway, not only do you no longer have a car, but you are, essentially, fined by the city for having your car stolen.

Anyway, thats my complaint. I loved my Jeep. I got it from my parents. I was looking forward to driving it till it wouldn’t drive no more. Looks like they had different plans.

So, I got a bike. I will ride it to work. I will save money. I will help the environment. I will get in better shape. I will show them!

Untill they steal my bike.